


Things They Talked About In The Playground

by Sarah531



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 00:19:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah531/pseuds/Sarah531
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was done to Amy, and what she did, on Demon's Run.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things They Talked About In The Playground

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This deals with some very dark themes- noncon, rape, forced medical procedures, victim-blaming and trauma. It is also hopefully an answer to the question "What if Amy's kidnapping and the horrific things that happened to her were actually treated with the seriousness they deserved?"

PROJECT UNEARTHLY CHILD

We, the agents of the Silence, united against the horror of the Question, do hereby make a vow to execute or otherwise destroy the being known as 'The Doctor'. It may involve our deaths: we shall not falter. It may involve the murder of innocents: we shall not falter. It _will_ involve the abduction and the injury of a child and its mother: we shall not falter.

We are not fools.

_*_

UC: SELECTION OF SUITABLE CANDIDATES

The Doctor's home planet, in a sense, is Earth- this was established some time ago. It is from this small and backwards cesspool that he collects his closest friends. Known to us at the time of writing:

Sarah Jane Smith _-_ High threat level.  
Martha Jones -High threat level.  
Mickey Smith -High threat level.  
Dorothy McShane- Medium threat level  
Liz Shaw-Medium threat level  
Rory Williams- Medium threat level  
Amelia Pond - Medium threat level  
Josephine Jones -Low threat level.  
Wilfred Mott -Low threat level.

Records also show a CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS -very high threat level. (NB. The use of Harkness's offspring for the project was in the early stages seriously considered, but rejected due to him managing to kill most of them himself.)

Of the selected human candidates, we narrowed our choices down to those of a childbearing age. For the greatest psychological impact, we required the following:

-A person or persons whom the Doctor has a great desire to protect.  
-A person or persons who are vulnerable/unlikely to have the ability to fight back  
-A person or persons who will suffer from the loss of their infant (NB personal contact between Candidate and Agent must be kept to an absolute MINIMUM and no Agent should approach Candiate unarmed.)

Most importantly - A person or persons who will concieve a child _while in the time-space vortex._ Taking into account a) the reproductive methods of humans and b) the aforementioned psychological impact, the choice came down to either Mickey Smith/Martha Jones, or Rory Williams/Amy Pond. Looking carefully at their relationships with the Doctor and the abilities of the parents, we eventually chose the Williams-Pond combination- the mother has some _extremely_ interesting skills regarding the nature of Time and Memory, and the father is an almost unique specimen of survival against all odds.

It is time for Phase Two.

*

UC: OBSERVING CANDIDATES

(For easier record-keeping, the Candidates will be referred to as 'A'/'AP' and 'R'.)

Time is constantly in flux, and although the Silence are spread throughout all Earth's history it is VITAL that history does, in this case, proceed as we know it does. Namely, A and R begin a relationship which leads to them consummating their marriage aboard the TARDIS. While it has been suggested that we just 'leave them to it', _I_ think we must be in contant guard that nothing destroys this timeline as we know it. It has already been tampered with (the restoration of A's parents, the loss and then restoration of R.) When the Doctor is involved, nothing goes as planned.

A moves to Leadworth, England at the age of four- this is a constant in all timelines. There she meets R. And _vitally_ , at the age of seven she meets the Doctor. Years later she is accepted as companion.  
She is roughy twenty-one at this point. As an interesting side-note, she did attempt to 'bed' the Doctor shortly before her wedding: our agents on the scene witnessed this from a wardrobe. Though the idea of using the Doctor's own child against him is a glorious thought, it is not to be, as the Doctor rebuffed her and has done so in all timelines. (Even, interestingly, in the briefly seen one where R never existed.) A then goes on to marry R and on their wedding night, in the Doctor's ship, they concieve a child. It is our job to take the mother, to place her consiousness- her 'soul', as Manton would have it- in a Flesh body, and leave the child to grow inside the 'real' A.

*

UC: Transcript of capture of A.P.

[As Silence forgo individual names, I refer to them as "One" and "Two"]

AP: Where am I? What have you done? Where's my husband and where's the Doctor?  
ONE: Neither can help you now.  
AP: What the [Earth slang I do not recognise] are you? Let go of me!  
TWO: You are with child. The child is ours. That means you are ours.  
AP: What? I'm _pregnant_? Let me go! Where's Rory?  
ONE: He will not remember this. You will not remember this.  
AP: Let me go!  
ONE: If you continue to struggle, you and your child shall die.  
AP: Yeah, you know what, me and my child died once before, and it wasn't even real, it was a dream. You're a dream, aren't you? Nothing as ugly as you could exist in real life!  
_AP sedated. Record ends._

*

Notes from personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 5/14/5145

As a "warrior of the Lord", Manton continues to make unreasonable demands. Amy Pond must be "mentally and spiritually cared for" despite her unconcious state. We must speak to her, reassure her- even though she is currently just an incubator in a tube. The real Amy Pond is elsewhere and her mental state is not our concern.

This seems harsh and uncaring, obviously.  I _have_ considered the ethical implications of all this- but I took my vows when I came on board. Manton tells me there is an old Earth saying that goes "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs," and he quotes it often. (As an omelette is a type of meal _made entirely from eggs_ , this saying does nothing to improve my opinion of earthlings.) It means, he says, that a victory in war cannot be achieved without some collateral damage. Which is an undeniable fact.

Always the women who suffer in war, they say. But I am a woman, and _I_ am not suffering.

*

UC: Profile of Amelia J Pond

_Born: Inverness, Scotland, United Kingdom, Earth._  
_Current biological age: 22_  
_Parents: Tabitha Pond and Augustus Pond_  
_Known associates: The Doctor_  
_Other notes: Wife of Rory Williams. No previous children._  
_Designation: 'A' or 'AP'_

*

UC: TIME INTERVENTION

A blip in the timeline occured at roughly 1863 Earth time. We have been monitoring it, but only recently have we had the chance to observe it firsthand. It involved the near-death by drowning of R; after much discussion our superiors decided he, as the father, was worth saving. While technically his part in our mission is over, there is still the chance that something could go wrong. It may, in a worst-case scenario (i.e. a stillborn baby), mean capturing both parents and extracting tissue from both of them. (This would also considerably up the psychological stakes for the Doctor.)

Our superiors and their action will of course go unremembered by A, R and the Doctor, but I have been asked to transcribe their conversation:

A: It's _you_! You can't have him! You can't have my husband!  
_She attempts an attack. She even hits one, striking his arm._  
A: I'm taking him back with me, I'm taking him home!  
DOCTOR: Amy, get back! Amelia!  
A: Get away or I'll KILL YOU!  
_The Silence shoots a beam of electricity into R. This is enough to bring him back to conciousness - to life- with a cough, and A's attention turns back to him. The incident is forgotten; A gasps in relief._

As always, all footage on the TARDIS camera was deleted- The Doctor, unbeknowest to his companions, records everything that goes on inside his console room. How would they ever react, if they knew.

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 5/14/5145

We are all in this for different reasons- we all made a vow to the Silence because we _wanted_ something.

The Silence themselves want the Question to never be spoken. Manton, I think, wants the Doctor eradicated because he thinks there is only _one_ god, the one he believes in-

I myself seek a world without gods. Why should we rely on an all-powerful, but _so_ fallible (all gods are fallible- some are even cruel) being to save us? Why can we not save ourselves? That is my mission. A fresh sense of agency, not just for me, but for all.

*

UC: REGENERATIONS

An unexpected problem: tripling the unborn baby's regeneration powers while still in the womb will affect the mother. Should Amy go on to have another child, it will have the same abilities as this one. It has been decided to render her incapable of giving birth again- there is less than a 1% chance of this baby being stillborn now. We will not need to use her again.

It is unlikely Amy would have gone on to have other children anyway: the psychological impact would be too great.

*

A wall at Demon's Run:

A HORSE and a MAN above below  
One has a plan but both must gO  
Mile after mile, above, BENEATH  
One has a SMILE and one has  
_T E E T H_

_*_

UC: CHARACTER BUILDING

Ideally our child-weapon will not have the trappings of humanity: she will have as little compassion or sentimentality as possible. She will also not be able to have children of her own- she will not procreate and she will not love.

We will do that by manipulating her brain patterns while still in the womb. We will inject the mother with nanogenes, nature's storytellers- nanogenes removed from a dying Dalek in the ruins of Skaro. Something that will, as both legend and science explains, subtract love and replace it with cruel instinct.

In the brain of that unborn child, they will weave a story of such hatred and fear that no normal child would be able to stand it. But this one will.

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 41/14/5145

The story I refer to is the Doctor's, of course.

I must delve a little into my personal history now- but first, a legend. I do not count myself as Earthling, but my ancestors were. Sometime in the thirty third century, they and many others of their tribe fled Earth, capturing and torturing a Star Whale so that the whale might become a living spaceship and save them all. A practical move: whichever way you look at it, millions were saved at the expense of only one. But that was not the end of it.

The legend (a legend I know to be true, passed down as it was not by mouths but textbooks) says that this was a society falling apart at the seams, a society that fed dissenters and even children to the beast, so desperate were they to save themselves. The Doctor did not care about that, he only wished to save the _whale_ from torture. He did this and, as so often happens, left only a poem in his wake:

_In bed above or deep asleep_  
_While greater love lies further deep_  
_This dream must end, this world must know_  
_We all depend on the beast below._

The spaceship landed on what became New Earth: centuries later I was born in New Great Britain. We were a disgusting mess of disease, decay and tribal warfare: we had split into groups long ago. My sisters, my brothers, my parents all perished: was there a great living hero-god to save them? There was not.

But there was, of course, the Whale. Different tribes had had different ideas, through the ages, what should be done with its decaying corpse- but by the time I was born, it had been long-ago decided that its skeleton should lie among us forever. People lived and built and prospered in its bones.

Or they did until the creatures came. No-one knows how Star Whales reproduce: I doubt even the Doctor does. But as the centuries went by- as tiny empires built and fell- these beings detached themselves from the corpse of their mother, and they descended on our children.

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 47/14/5145

There was another operation on Amy today. Her eyes opened during it- it gave us all a shock- but it was just a false alarm. We had to do all sorts of things, with needles and scalpels and fingers: the red inside of a woman is like no other red in the world. Sickly.

Sticky.

I am tired. I have been watching Earth entertainment- videos on metal discs, from Amy's time. There are plans to give them to her, when she wakes, as rewards for good behaviour. They are terrible, boring, offensive stuff.

*

Transcripts of sleep-state interaction between AP and Madam Kovarian

_50/14_  
AP: Where am I? I don't know where I am. Rory, Doctor, are you there? Get me out of here!  
KOVARIAN: Get a line on her...no, get a line on the baby. Baby comes first.  
ASSISTANT: I think she's under stress.  
KOVARIAN: No, I think she's just dreaming.  
AP: River, where's River? _One_ of you's coming to save me. One of you always saves me...

 _1/15_  
AP: The baby...they keep saying there's a baby...  
KOVARIAN: It's fine, you're doing fine. Just stay calm.  
AP: Why am I here...I'm meant to be somewhere else...I feel sick.  
KOVARIAN: Just go back to sleep.

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 7/15/5145

Just like our ancestors, we were quick to feed our children to the beast. To the many beasts. They were intelligent and quick to communicate, those spawn of the whale- they only wanted the children. A few every year, and they would leave us alone.

_Can't make an omelette..._

We agreed. Without a second thought, we agreed.

I was eighteen when this happened- and, like much of the population, unaware of what was truly going on. I was hopeless and alone and (coming from good stock) permitted to reproduce, once, if I chose. I made friends with a young man of similar breeding and after a bit of thought, married him. He impregnated me and then he died. The same plague that killed my family killed my husband. I don't know if I loved him. Maybe I did.

I was alone again, so alone- but I had skills enough and intelligence. I heard rumours- rumours that ancient, voiceless beings were taking an interest in us, that they could rid us of the creatures and the plagues. As I worked my way up the government ranks, I heard more and more- except the most important things. I should have listened to the voices that rose from my daughter's playground, they knew it plain as day, even if they could not express it:

_One, two, three, my daddy and my mum-my_  
_Four, five, six, protect us from their tricks_  
_Seven, eight, nine, they'll take us all in time_  
_Ten, 'lven, twelve, no deeper shall you delve_  
_Thirteen, fourteen, fift-teen_  
_Can't tell them what you ain't seen-_

I must leave. Amy Pond is screaming.

*

UC: Staff Notes

Please be advised that all non-consenting participants in Project UC must in all correpondence be referred to by their initials or initial, never by their name.

In addition to easing administrative processes, it is important as an aid to psychological wellbeing.

-Dr White (special envoy to the Silence)

*

UC: NANOGENE ISSUES

Amy has reacted badly to the nanogenes- her screams mean nightmares, to her real self. I wonder what form they take- white rooms, bright tubes, bulging stomachs?

After much discussion, it was decided to remove the nanos from her- they have mostly served their purpose by this point. I am told they (forged in the heart of a Dalek though they were) will probably not affect Amy's capacity to love-  she may very well still love the child-weapon she unwittingly holds for us now.

*

UC: Updated profile of Amelia J Pond

_Born: Inverness, Scotland, United Kingdom, Earth._  
_Current biological age: 23_  
_Parents: Tabitha Pond and Augustus Pond_  
_Known associates: The Doctor, the Daleks_  
_Other notes: Wife of Rory Williams. No previous children._  
_Designation: 'A' or 'AP'_  
_Medical procedures: Nanogene injection. Operations on urethra, vagina and rectum for ease of birth. Operations on child in utero. Sterilisation._

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 10/15/5145

When I was twenty-four, and my daughter six years old, they came for her. My own kind, not the Silence- it is always, _always_ your own kind. They told me that I stood a better chance of making a difference without a young child in tow, that my daughter was poorly equipped anyway being fatherless:  they told me that they could take her to a place where she could live a long life and be cared for.

I was alone and I was not a good mother. I did not know the true nature of the things that crawled from the Star Whale: I do not believe the Silence did either. The story is more complex than I make it sound- that's the nature, I'm afraid, of _all_ stories. But I went to work for the Silence, and I handed my daughter over to the whalespawn.

I never saw her again. She was so beautiful. She had brown eyes, and bright red hair.

*

Transcripts of sleep-state/waking-time interaction between AP and Madam Kovarian

AP: I need to wake up...  
KOVARIAN: The baby's kicking. Almost time.  
AP: I can hear you...I can't see you...  
KOVARIAN: You're in the birthing pod, dear.  
AP: I'm not...I...  
KOVARIAN: Come on now, dear. This is _important._  
AP: Help me. Someone help me!

_It is now that the connection to the Ganger is cut, by the Doctor, as our psychologists suggested he would- had he not, we would have done it ourselves._

KOVARIAN: Well, dear, you're ready to pop, aren't you? Little one's on its way. Here it comes. Push!

_AP screams. Doctors attend._

AP: MUM! Mum...  
KOVARIAN: Get her something to knock her out.  
AP: RORY!  
KOVARIAN: Come on, dear, don't fuss, do what I say-  
AP: _GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!_  
KOVARIAN: Keep the guns trained on her head.  
DR WHITE: Too late for injections.  
AP: _WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?_  
KOVARIAN: This is your own doing, dear. Push!  
AP: GET AWAY, DON'T TOUCH ME!  
KOVARIAN: Almost there.  
DR WHITE: All as expected.  
AP: RORY! DOCTOR!

_Screaming for almost a minute: other words unrecognisable or inaudible._

KOVARIAN: There you are, a pretty little girl.  
AP: DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH HER!

_Exhausted silence, punctuated by struggles and gasps._

KOVARIAN: She's torn. Dr White?  
DR WHITE: Should be safe to knock her out again. We'll stitch her up, maybe make her a bit more presentable too-  
AP: No-

_Record ends._

*

A wall at Demon's Run

A BOY and GIRL above BELOW  
Both have a plaN but both must KNOW  
Can't take FROM yoU what was never YOURs  
Boys have weapons but girls have CLAWS

*

UC: Staff Notes

Baby delivered successfully: happy and healthy. AP moved to windowed room. Short presentation ceremony to take place tomorrow.

Jim White has volunteered to make a plaque for the baby.

-Col. Gabriel Manton

*

UC: POST-NATAL CARE

All in the group meeting agreed that AP should have one month with her child, no more. This gives us time to identify any potential issues. We have plans to reward her for good behaviour- some 'DVDs' and a machine to play them, if she complies with all our wishes.

There was also much discussion as to when the switch should be made. Preliminary reports suggest that the Doctor, and a figure called the Centurion (almost certainly in fact RW, father of the child) should arrive in a matter of weeks, with an army. We've identified possible allies of the Doctor, but he has so many it's hard to narrow them down. Jack Harkness is currently laying low, so he almost certainly will not be a threat. Martha Jones and Mickey Smith likewise: they have concieved a child- without, I might add, our intervention.

Rumours have arisen of another, powerful, possible ally- a River Song. We have very little information about her, other than that she can fly the TARDIS. We will attempt to learn more. In the meantime, we will prepare ourselves.

*

Transcript of interaction between AP and Dr White

W Here are some things you'll need. Stay back, please- these men are armed. A change of clothes, some sanitary products, new blankets for the bed...  
AP: Get the hell out of my room.  
W: We also need to know the name of the child, for record-keeping purposes.  
AP: No.  
W: Things will be easier for us if-  
AP: _Easier for you_? You're monsters. Evil fucking monsters. Get out! You won't kill me, you need me- _GET OUT!_

_Dr White turns. Discussion on intercom, inaudible._

W: There will be a presentation ceremony tonight. The men and women of Demon's Run want to see their salvation. You don't have to do anything, just stand at the window with the baby. That's it. We can give you rewards, for complying-  
AP: I don't want anything from you.  
W: You're being very difficult. _You_ bear a lot of responsibility for this, don't forget. None of us would be here if you hadn't opened your legs.

_Pause- then AP leaps at him with a gutteral scream. She is caught, pushed back, her shouts are inaudible. She is dragged away. The baby cries._

W: You're right. We probably won't kill you. But we can make life very difficult for you.  
AP: Difficult? You _cut me open_ when I was sleeping. You took things out of me, put things in- you - you basically, you _RA_ -

_Tape ends._

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 50/15/5145

The ceremony was a stupid idea.

Manton gave a little speech, directed at his soldiers, about how it is the highest honour for a woman to be a mother. About how marriage isn't marriage without kids (that directed, I know, at me- he knows what I did), about how we must show Amy the utmost respect now. And her husband, too, if he arrives and proves to be an ally. (There has been talk about this possibility- it seems incredibly unlikely even to me, but we do not know what sort of man Rory Williams is.)

Anyway. He dreams of a new Mary and Joseph with a little female Jesus- a dream soon to be dashed, I fear. More so than they have been already, for things did not go as planned. Manton gave his speech, and then he gestured to Amy Pond, up above them all in her prison with her baby. She was dressed in white, like a ghost, and she looked so small with the crowd beneath her.

They raised their hands to her. Some of them clapped. Amy looked down on them. I have read Manton's primitive fairytales- the ones with which he controls his lackeys- and Amy Pond looked in that moment much more like a warrior of god than any of the soldiers down below.

With a thousand men and women staring up at her, she raised her hand to her chest. She undid the buttons on her gown, one by one, with her sleeping baby in her other hand- and slowly but surely she disrobed entirely, stood naked before us.

We all of us saw it, the scars and the stitches crisscrossing on her skin. We were all of us _forced_ , for less than half a minute, to see. Her body altered by childbirth, legs unshaven, breasts limp- eyes cold and calculating. She stared at me.

I looked back, of course, at the thick red lines. I could not be ashamed of my own handiwork, of the collateral damage, of the egg I broke. But eventually, like almost all the others did, I turned away from Amy Pond. I have seen places on and in her that even her ~~real~~ own mother had not...it seemed obscene for her to be showing to men what only _women_ had seen-

Dr White reached for a control pad and turned the lights off in her cell. I do not know if he punished her- I don't think he did, and certainly not in that way, I watched the security cameras even after dark. But she did not get her DVDs, I know that much.

*

Transcript of interaction between AP and baby MP: negative actions to be flagged

AP: I didn't want to have you here. I'd have had you somewhere, somewhere normal. A hospital. Your dad would have helped.

_She smiles at the baby. Positive action._

AP: I don't know what's going to happen, especially after what I did yesterday. I'm scared. But I can't let them know.

_MP gurgles._

AP: When we get out of here, I will _kill_ them, I swear. One way or another.

_She looks at the camera. Smiles again. Negative action._

_*_

UC: Security issues

Note: We have problems with the security camera flickering off- must be fixed immediately.

AP continues to have a higher-than expected rate of negative actions. Although this has caused problems, we can be relieved her anger is directed towards us, not her child- we will not have to waste our drug supplies on keeping her docile while she mothers it.

Problems may arise when she has to hand the baby over. We might have to drug her then. The threat of guns- of death- may be enough to deter her, but she has still mocked us all and I don't want her to do it again.

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 55/15/5145

The people of my planet did not _begrudge_ the Doctor, all those years ago, saving the Star Whale- why would they? But they begrudged his inability to clean up after himself. The whalespawn would have come regardless, but maybe the way we dealt with them would have been different.

Or maybe not: I gather human nature does not change. A long, long time ago (possibly before even Amy's time- the figures are sketchy) Earth too suffered a visitation from whalespawn. Before being stopped (apparently by Captain Jack Harkness himself) the governments of Earth had reached the same conclusion we did: hand over the children, save themselves.

They called their tormentors the 456. We called them, and still call them, Doctors.

_*_

From a child's notebook, in a desk at Demon's Run:

_Fifteen, fourteen, thir-teen, bow before the red queen_  
_Twelve, 'leven, ten, they may not take you then_  
_Nine, eight, se-ven, she's going back to heav-en_  
_Six, five, four, but even then there's more_  
_Three, two, one, her story isn't done..._

_*_

Transcript of interaction between AP and baby MP: negative actions to be flagged

AP: You're named after my old best friend from school. Mels. She'll be dead surprised to see you. She can be your godmother.

_She touches the baby's hand: positive action._

AP: I thought the Doctor could be your godfather, but he's not...he's not really the type. We'll see, eh?

_End tape- glitch?_

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 5/16/5145

I visited Amy Pond today. It was under the pretense of fixing the cameras- if I didn't know better, I'd say she was flickering them on and off through pure force of will. I came in unannounced. She grabbed the baby and backed away, snatching up the nearest thing she could use as a weapon. (There have never been any blades in Amy's room, for that reason and others.)

"Let me tell you about us," I said to her, once she had acertained I was not a threat. "Let me tell you about me. We have nothing against you personally, Amy-"

"Amelia."

"Amelia. I think it's time you thought about what we could do for you." She said nothing, just stared. "After all, once the Doctor is dead you might well pass into legend. You'll be in stories, in textbooks. Children will sing of you in the playground-"

"Not this child," she said. "My baby won't. Will she?"

"You stand on the edge of a precipice, little girl," I said to her. "Think of what you were before we found you. A vacant, pretty face who dressed like a slut and sold her mouth to men! You were a nothing then, and you are a nothing now. A human incubator."

She watched me with cold, dark eyes. Her baby stirred in her arms.

"Now, I can offer you something more. Because you've never had _more_ , have you? Never even made a real choice. You wasted your childhood on dreams and your adulthood on fantasies. You married the boy next door, who followed you around like a puppy and was about as intelligent. You're controlled largely by men, you work for them and you dress for them. Why not make a choice for your _own_ good?"

Amy's eyes flickered to her white prison garb. I made a mental note to bargain with Manton to get her better clothes-

"And the Doctor! Look at what your Doctor did. He _knew_ what you would wake to- he knew and he didn't tell you. You are here because of him, this is all because of him. Your daughter will grow to be a weapon against him, but you could be the one who wields that weapon."

"Right," spat Amy. "This is the come-to-the-dark-side speech, is it?"

"Think about it."

She turned away from me, put the baby down in her crib, looked to the window. Talking about the Doctor seemed to have stirred something in her.

"He didn't know," she said. "He's not _human_ , he doesn't understand."

"But this is his fault."

"No, it's my fault for having sex, haven't you heard?"

"Let's speak woman-to-woman-"

" _FUCK OFF!"_

I had taken a seat, so she was towering over me. And suddenly I thought, she could beat me or choke me to death- there's no weapons in this room, but she has teeth and claws.

"You made me an- an object and then _blamed_ me for being one! You stole my baby, good as cut me open to get at her and you _blamed_ me for having sex in the first place! You dismiss my entire life and everything I've ever done and you say _you know what's good for me_! This is _your_ fault, you and those people down there, _YOU_ did this! _NOT ME_!"

An alarm started going off. She was too close to me, too angry, the men with guns were coming-

She backed away.

"They still might talk about this in the playground," she said. "When and if the story ever gets told. And they'll wonder, eventually, they'll wonder. They'll wonder who stripped me. They'll wonder who cut into me. They'll wonder what went _where_ , when that was done. _They'll wonder._ And what will their parents tell them, when they ask?"

She took a deep breath.

"I'm not a victim. Definitely not _yours_. We judge people by what they do, not by what was done to them." Despite the sirens- sirens her baby was sleeping right through- and the imminent arrival of dangerous men, she leaned close to me again. "And you know what? The Doctor didn't teach me that. I learned it _all by myself._ "

She let me go. The first soldier to burst into the room was a young girl, barely a soldier at all. I told her not to bother, I was fine, and I walked out...

...Oh, I have done a monsterous thing, I know. Amy speaks to me like I don't. I have done it all in pursuit of a world without gods, without the Doctor and the Question, but what does that matter to her? Perhaps you need to do terrible things, in the quest for freedom and agency- I cannot let her stand in the way of that- I raped her. Didn't I?

*

UC: HIGH ALERT NOTICE

We have recieved intelligence that tomorrow, the Doctor and his army shall attack. The Headless Monks have their orders, and you have yours.

Be on the lookout for a man in a red cape. This is Rory Williams, the child's father. Ideally, he's not to survive the coming fight. (Knowing what we know about his history, this shouldn't be a problem.) The idea of him becoming an ally to us has been thoroughly rejected: he gave the name 'Rory Pond' to the Cybermen.

Also watch out for:

-a Silurian woman, possibly accompanied by a human- both will be well trained in combat.  
-a Sontaran (only one; allegedly this one is a rare traitor to his kind)  
-Dorium Maldovar  
-A woman named River Song. We know little about her- but we do know she's feared even by Daleks. Her picture is attached to this message. If you see her, shoot on sight.

*

From the personal diary of H.M. KOVARIAN, 8/16/5145

The Doctor has not arrived yet. Manton is downstairs choosing which of his men to sacrifice to the Headless Monks...he plans to pray later for Amy. I told him I don't think it'll do much good. She already has a god, and he has let her down.

I suppose today is the day of reckoning.

I wonder if he will come at all? He is inconsistent. The Silence told me many stories of his hypocrisy. That he will favour the most worthless of humans over the most advanced of others; that he claims to be peaceful but has killed so many. That he ignored the problems of thousands, dismissed them completely, just to save a whale-

That he did not tell Amelia Pond where and why she would wake.

I have kept this diary not for myself, but so others might understand why we did it. Undoubtably many will see me as a villain (and a traitor, no doubt, to her own sex)- but others, I hope, may see me as a woman who went up against a _god_. And won.

*

Transcript of interaction between Amy Pond, baby Melody, and Madame Kovarian:

AMY: I wish I could tell you that you'll be loved. That you'll be safe and cared for and protected. But this isn't a time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody, is very very brave.  
KOVARIAN: Two minutes.  
AMY: But not as brave as they'll have to be. Because there's someone coming. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but trust me. He's on his way. There's a man who's never going to let us down. And not even an army can get in the way.

_Kovarian reaches for the baby._

AMY: Leave her, just you leave her. Please leave her! Leave her!  
KOVARIAN: You knew this was coming.  
AMY: It won't work! She'll go with you but she'll _never_ be a weapon. I'm her mother. I know her!  
KOVARIAN: Say goodbye. Go on!

_The baby is placed in a basket. Amy leans over her._

AMY: This man. He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone.

_She kisses the baby's head._

AMY: Because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better...as the Last Centurion.

_She straightens up, lets go of the baby. She stares defiantly at Kovarian, fists shaking, breathing heavily._

AMY They'd better be prepared.  
KOVARIAN: We will be.

_She turns to leave, soldiers still on high alert. But then- she turns back to Amy._

KOVARIAN: It's not too late to consider my offer.  
AMY: No. Never.  
KOVARIAN: I have taken your agency, your saviours, your body and your baby. What is there left, dear Amy, of you now?

_Long pause. Amy Pond stares at her. When she speaks, it is like she's stating the obvious to a child, although there is anger and defiance also in her voice:_

AMY: _Me._

*

From a DVD in Madam Kovarian's sleeping quarters, one of many meant for Amy Pond:

_(Woman appears. Curly hair, brown eyes, dressed in green. She speaks.)_

Amy.

Amy, it's me, River. I'm sorry, I know you thought you were watching- _(Checks notes) -_ Superman. But I've got friends in DVD production, and- and I had to. You probably won't ever get to watch this- and if you do, you must pretend you didn't. I'm so sorry, but you've got to pretend you didn't.

I'm your daughter, yours and Rory's daughter. I'm the baby you're probably next to right now. I grow up, I'm fine...see? I love you and Dad very much. This is the first time I've ever said that. That's important.

You- you spent so long protecting me from terrible things, I decided it was my turn. River Song can walk in and out of places like the walls aren't there, and I'm River Song. I'm also Melody Pond, and I- both of me - I took every file from this building after it was evacuated. I sent them off to people in authority, the Shadow Proclamation, Stormcage, the Judoon. The wheel of justice turned, and it took a while but-

Kovarian, Dr White, Colonel Manton and all their lackeys were tried for war crimes. They're in Stormcage now. You'll be glad to know Stormcage got worse once I left- much worse. Or, for us, better. They won't be escaping, they won't be doing anything. Just thinking, in solitude, for the rest of their lives.

I know what Kovarian will be thinking about. At the trial I told her who reallysaved the Star Whale. Told her that generations of legends, of accepted truths were _wrong_ \- oh, her face. You should have seen her face.

I did something else! I turned off the security cameras a couple of nights and got into the Demon's Run drug supplies. I destroyed everything. Otherwise they might have drugged you when you said goodbye to me and I...I didn't want that.

Mum, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I...I was...you used to do this thing whenever Dad was under the TARDIS glass floor and you were in a miniskirt, you'd stand above him and he'd pretend to get distracted or _really_ get distracted. You thought it was funny. But one day I was in the corridor, you didn't know I could see, and you were in a miniskirt and Dad was below the glass- you went _crazy_ when he did it. You broke down completely. Dad was so confused and then suddenly I think it dawned on him- you never told him, but he must have known.

He held you while you cried, Mum...

Children realise more than anyone knows. About their parents, too. We went to the beaches of Nacre not too long ago- just me and you and the Doctor, Dad was visiting Grandad. You wore a swimsuit that covered you all up. The Doctor didn't know why, even _asked_ \- but I knew.

_(Pause)_

Mum, I- I have a brother. You and Dad adopted him, his name is Anthony and he was born in 1944. He was abused - badly- and when they were done he ended up in the orphanage. I was there the first time you saw him. I saw you recognise a kindred spirit. He's all grown up now, he's a geography teacher.

The best one in the world.

I can't tell you too much because it's yet to happen for you. And I know in my heart that you won't ever see this. Nothing can erase what those people did to you but I hope I helped- one thing I do know is that Kovarian will sleep in her cell every night and dream of Amy Pond killing her, in agonising detail, like it actually happened. I can't tell that story yet either, but-

From my point of view, I'll be seeing you in just a few minutes. I was meant to be leading an exhibition to a distant library planet, because I'm an _archelogist_ now! But it got delayed, because of the trials, people's money and time taken up with that. Gonna be delayed for a few _years_ , even- I don't mind. I get to spend time with my family this way.

Thank you, Mum. If I have even half of your strength and courage...I love you. See you soon.

_(Tape ends.)_


End file.
